So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize