I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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