I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
