i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
