They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
