i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Let's get the cat blown out
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
