I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
