His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
