If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
