Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
