I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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