Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
His nipple licking is glorious
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