i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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