He kissed a someone with a penis
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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