His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize