oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
