Don't you send me to vm
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
