idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
