In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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