i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
