He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
