i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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