And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
