well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
