i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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