Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
