Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
