He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
