I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
