No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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