I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
