I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
