So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I smell like Dick and happiness
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
