I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize