it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
