You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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