The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
