Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
