Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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