It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
