Screwed.edu
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
