to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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