I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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