oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
