So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
