okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
