you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
