Moan for me like Helen Keller
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
