I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
