That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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