He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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