Yo dont text me then not text me
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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