What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
