wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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