He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
