I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
