We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I think pants incapable of making pants work
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize