happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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