Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
