when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
