No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She needs sedatives and a leash
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
